Vision Quest III: The Naming
Posted on May 19th, 2008
by 
Innish
Innish
I grew exceptionally tired after all of that arguing and praying, and the surrender of knowing that it would end the next day removed all of the trying and wanting. There was only the doing.
I remembered that one of Bear Heart's teachings was to hug a tree for a day and listen to the wisdom of the tree. This was partly the reason I chose this spot: the grandfather juniper (an alligator juniper, I was to later find out). So I greeted it and honored it and wrapped my arms around it and asked it to meet with me.
No.
Hmmm. Maybe I mis-heard. I asked again.
Grandfather! I greet and honor you who have seen so many seasons. I ask that you share with me your wisdom, the plant wisdom, the wisdom of the one-leggeds.
Go Away! Your kind has done enough damage to me.
Oh.
I released my grip and sent Reiki, which is really love energy, to it. I apologized for my kind's actions, and felt my heart pulse love into this tree. After a while it softened. Still, i honored it's request. Plant medicine will just have to wait until I get to the Amazon.
I asked about sitting on it's stump and received a positive answer. I could sit there and meditate and observe. It really wanted me to observe.
There was a small pine growing just outside of the circle. It seemed to respond to my thoughts or sayings by waving slightly, whether the wind was blowing or still. Didn't seem to matter to it. I imagined one thing or another, but settled on the idea that it was best to simply see it as a tree and feel my connection to it, to the land around it, and to the land and space around them.
I was tired and almost fell from the stump when I dozed off.
So I lay down for a nap and I slept for a few hours. I awoke and continued my praying and walking. While the sleep was dreamless, the waking was filled with more of the same visions. While they were dark, they weren't horrific. They were simply shown as matter-of-fact; specific dates and actions, battles where the outcome was not fixed in time, energetic wars not on the same physical plane as this, and what seemed like an epic battle where technology battled organic... the best that man can do against the best that the environmental, wind, tidal, seismic, chronologic, and spiritual powers could give.
I saw the medicine people of all races and cultures banding together; warring during dreamtime and using their powers of invisibility, journeying, and time-stoppage to battle the technology.
The final outcome seemed weighted heavily against technology; and that seemed appropriate.
What survived was community. Community of like-minded souls. What had been global, was now local. A great re-learning, a great forgetting, and a new way for a new people.
I saw my new farm in the NorthEast. That was sweet.
As the sun began to go down, I thought that I could use a dose of self-discipline (not that the quest wasn't discipline enough, but I felt I needed something right then, something immediate), so I decided that I would stand still until the sun set. It was only to be an act of minor importance because I thought that the sun would set behind a stand of trees to my west in forty-five minutes or so. Not so. When it got to the trees, I realized that I could still see the sun's shape very clearly.
Almost two hours later, it was completely gone and, shivering, I hopped in my blankets and bivvy. When I made my declaration to stand until the sun set, I was wearing a t-shirt. Up there, the sun is strong and warm as long as it shines on you. When it no longer does, the air temperature kicks in. Oh, it was cold.
I figured that I'd enjoy watching the stars come out, as I had done the night before. However, I was asleep almost immediately. This sleep was dreamless and deep. I was warm the whole night through, though a wind was blowing and people in camp later said that it was 17° that night. I woke a couple of times to watch the night sky, my star cousins. But no matter what I did, I fell asleep within minutes.
I awoke once to see three orbs of light come from almost directly north (maybe 10° to the East) that went shooting off in three different directions.
Back to sleep. More shooting stars. Back to sleep. The whirl of stars continued overhead as I slept deeply. Stillness amidst the movement.
Once, I felt the presence of a large cat--this was mountain lion country--behind me, and I greeted it silently and rolled over. I felt the cat sprayed my area. Was it my own personal jaguar archetype checking things out? I don't know. I slept on.
When I awoke, the sun was up 30° or so. The next day, I would check the time and it would have been around 8:30. So for almost 12 hours--half a revolution of the earth--I had slept and recovered in a dreamless void. It felt as if I had disencorporated, evaporated, dispersed my atoms over the world and then reassembled them in the morning.
My bivvy had moisture inside; I was so warm that I had perspired and it trapped it. Maybe in a different circumstance I might have thought to drink it, but I knew I'd be drinking soon. I could wait.
I re-freshed the directions, thanking them for sitting with me and protecting my space. I cleansed my mesa stones and thanked them. I sang a song to the creator. I pledged myself to service. I looked around at this beautiful space, this beautiful tree, the surrounding area. Cloudless blue sky. In the distance, I could see the Very Large Array (VLA) of radio telescopes still searching in their narrow-spectrum way.
With the sun up that high, it was already getting warm. So I stripped and took a cloth bath with some bathing wipes that I brought along. I was impressed at how they worked and lifted my mood. I was already pretty content and feeling at-one, but to be mostly clean and feeling that way was a treat.
I decided I liked being nekkid, and so I stayed that way for a while. After all, it's just me and Spirit after all. And I thought that actually removing my clothes and standing in front of Spirit with nothing to hide, nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of would lift it from the metaphoric to the actual. It was great.
I was visited by three hummingbirds, one of which hovered right in front of my third eye for a spell. Swallows performed a three-act aerial ballet right in front of the circle. A hawk landed in a nearby tree and called out. A raven circled overhead.
I dressed, picked up my prayer stick, and began walking clockwise around my mesa. Suddenly, two or three jets flew through the valley below me at full after-burner and let loose a few bombs just over the hill. Was White Sands that close? And why would it be quiet all week and have bombing on a Saturday?
I looked for the jets but they were invisible. A Cloaking device? I know it sounds silly or paranoid, but I'm usually pretty good at tracking aircraft. All that time in the Air Force Academy, I guess. I could not track them. I tried in my shamanic seeing states. No luck.
Another round of jets and bombs came through a half hour later or so. Same deal.
Was this the confirmation I asked for? Was this Spirit telling me that the images and story that came to me were for real? I almost didn't dare ask or doubt. Spirit has a history of raising the stakes on doubters. When you can no longer ignore the slapdown, it lets up.
Later, when I asked, no-one else noticed the jets or the bombing. Hmmm.
I let it go. It was what it was. The vision didn't require action until events were in motion, as larger events already were in motion. My time to act wasn't here yet. My role not yet defined.
The remainder of the morning was sweet. I stayed in the circle for a few hours after noon. I don't think I was reluctant to leave so much as savoring the quiet and the connection that I knew would dim somewhat after rejoining the group.
When I was ready, I walked back to camp. I was met there by the Sponsor and Julie, who had moments before finished her sweatlodge. I talked about my experience and we discussed it.
Eagle Eye gave me my new medicine name: Vision Keeper.
I drank a couple of quarts of water and ate a bite or two. I greeted others and gently reintegrated myself.
The final going-out sweat was a formality for me at that stage. My quest had come to an end.
Perhaps it has but paused.
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insight
July 2008
That was beautiful. What an experience. I could see the images you were describing. Thank you for sharing this journey with us.