Traction Control
Posted on Jan 10th, 2008
by 
Innish
Innish
If in our daily life we find ourself with the opportunity to practice the essentials of what we've been developing in solitude and the controlled environment of the cushion, this is a great opportunity.
I'm currently in CA, and had to spend the past few days in the hospital with my father who had heart surgery last night. So much pain and suffering, so much worry and fear in the hospital. So much dis-ease everywhere. It was difficult to stay centered and compassionate amid this pain; I fought the urge to help everyone or run, and fought the urge to say this is not as it should be. Eventually, I grew to accept that it is perfect, just as it is. Everyone has a lesson to learn, has their own path to go. It was good to do what one can to help, but not steer or direct what the outcome would be.
During the surgery I performed ceremony for my father in the parking lot of the hospital. I had some curious onlookers, as you can imagine (This is Northern California, not Southern, after all.). I've never done distant healing and who knows if I really did any this time. I simply asked that this energy/healing be for the highest good.
I was thinking of my reiki sensi who said (during a previous episode last Christmas) that one shouldn't try to direct the healing, but to just offer it with pure intention. Each soul, she said, has its own lessons to learn and you don't know what they are. So I let it go that night, and I let it go again last night. And that felt good.
I still had plenty of vacillating between acceptance of the transient, impermanent nature of the world and wanting my father to be pain free. In this area of the real world, where (as one friend said) "the rubber meets the road" I needed some traction control. But we made it through. The surgery was a success, for the most part, and he's coming home today. And my equanimity and awareness of anicca, of the law of impermanence, grew.
love to you!
Access: Public
dis-ease
July 2008